How to be a Nerd
AKA: The Life Cycle of a Nerd.
Stage One: A nerd, is usually born early on in life. Like an axolotl exposed to the right hormones can transform into a salamander, a human child exposed to the right fictive universes has a good chance of becoming a nerd. For the 90’s child, these sources were likely Pokemon, Digimon, and in rare cases Beyblade, but may also have involved Sherlock Holmes, Pride and Prejudice, or another literary source. While not effective in all cases, the exposure to such worlds often leads to compulsive habits; a need to watch, to read, to delve further into a fictional reality. These changes are subtle, but are usually accompanied by what some (certainly not this impartial observer) might call, an unhealthy enthusiasm for things and stuff.
Stage Two: It is as at the adolescent stage that the metamorphosis into a nerd becomes blatantly apparent. The common nerd may find it difficult to adjust to growing limbs, and take to their bedroom to spend extensive periods of time on the internet, or any gaming system available to them. Common nerds may have issues forming friendships and romantic partnerships, but when they do, it is often a bond for life (or at least for puberty). The lesser more confident nerd, is marked by its ability to recognise that being a nerd is actually several levels of awesome. They appreciate that they are surrounded by friends who are equally as passionate about things and stuff as they are, and know that titles such as “popular” are overrated constructs that will mean nothing once they’re and adult. They acknowledge that having good people, with similar interests in your life is important for their physical and mental well-being. For this reason, you will often find at least on lesser more confident nerd at the centre of any common nerd flock, if not more. With time, it is possible for all nerds to develop the feathers of a lesser more confident nerd, particularly upon reaching university, where most people are nerds and its INCREDIBLE.
Stage Three: Adulthood is a difficult time for a nerd. Gone is the bizarre universe of education, in which being a nerd was motivated by coursework deadlines and exams. Now there is a choice to be made; a choice between living life in a state of cryogenic sleep, only to wake up every two or so years for the new series of Sherlock and a mug of homemade butterbeer, or to stay awake, and nerd harder than you have ever nerded before. Life as an adult nerd is about perpetual self-motivation; finding new and interesting sources of entertainment and information, talking to new nerds whether online or irl, and keeping your mind active, as well as your body. Most people will tell you “Exercise more, and eat right.” A good nerd will tell you, “YOU HAVE TO PLAY MONKEY ISLAND. NO. NO. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! HIGHBRUGH THREEPSNOGGIN IS A PRECIOUS BAE, AND YOU NEED TO AT LEAST PLAY CURSE.” Or, you know, something like that.
I realise this is a bit different to my usual Tip Tuesday piece, but I fancied doing something a bit silly (and of course all silliness should be accompanied by John Green’s face covered in sharpie). I sort of went on a trip down memory lane, and now I really want to nerd-out over something. Has anyone got any good game suggestions? Preferably PC based. I need something to muck around with between novel editing and job applications. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, and I’ll catch you later this week with a couple more posts. In the meantime you can riddle me this; HOW YOU BE A NERD?