3 Steps to Dealing with Rejection
Rejection is taboo subject. Nobody likes to be rejected, so often people will try to pretend it’s not happened to them, and just ignore it. Most of the time, this is fine. Dealing with the odd “Sorry, I don’t see you that way,” or “We don’t think you have enough experience,” by shaking it off and getting on with life, is usually the way to go. However, if you’re dealing with a string of break-ups, or jobs you didn’t get, it can be hard not to internalise. So this week, I offer my 3 steps to dealing with rejection, with a little help from J.K.Rowling, one of the most successful rejects of all time.
1. Accept it – Acknowledge that you’ve been rejected. This can be hard, but if you’ve got your rejection in written form, read it again. Don’t look for subtext, take everything at face value. If you’ve been verbally rejected say the words in your head. Then take a breath, and say “Okay, no worries.”
2. Process it – Take some time to yourself. Don’t listen to music, just sit quietly. You want to find the silver lining (as deluded as he was, Pat had a point). If you didn’t get the job, then that’s because you weren’t suited to it; whether it be due to your skill level, or because you didn’t get along with the people. Remember, you don’t want to end up in a job you’re not suited to. If your crush turned you down for a date, then clearly they didn’t feel that same connection, and you want someone who’s as crazy about you, as you are about them. Then put this rejection into the context of your life. This can be hard to do if you’re younger, but as an adult, when I get rejected, I like to remind myself of the number of times that it’s happened to me. Then I think about the number of times it has happened to my friends and family. Rejection is something that happens every day, to everyone. Sure it can make you feel like crap at the time, but if my first love hadn’t rejected me, I never would have taken up archery, never would have met some of my closest friends, and I currently wouldn’t have anywhere to live. Ultimately, rejection will only take you bad places if you let it.
3. Forget it – Now that you’ve got a new perspective, it’s time to move on. Pick a new destination. It might be a new career path or job application, taking up a new hobby, or trying online dating. it might be sending your novel to yet another publisher, because you got the faith! Use the rejection to make positive changes, and move on. The further you get, the smaller it will seem, then you can forget about it with ease.
I suppose the key for me is reminding myself that life leads to crazy places. Sometimes those places are not ideal, but most of the time they’re frigging incredible. You just have to keep going.
This weekend I will be uploading my latest review, and potentially starting a new novel, so keep an eye out. In the mean time, I’d like to know what do you guys do to ward off the blues? How do you deal with rejection?
Muchas amore, mes caru.